saturday

Saturday.

My friends got married.

My friend introduced me to a new cupcake shop.

It's days like this I ponder the meaning of life. I hate that.

As I was graduating from high school, old people constantly asked me, "What are you going to do?" After the third time being asked, autopilot instincts kicked in, and I explained my plans of going to a local university, living in the dorms to make new exciting friends, and studying something impressive I knew nothing about. The next August, I attended my first classes as a freshman at that school, quickly moved out of the dorms with no new friends, failed a couple classes (darn you, chemistry), and got a completely different, less impressive degree. Then I ended up here in Korea doing something unrelated to my degree.

Even at 24 years old, bachelor's degree under my belt, full-time job in hand, I still get asked, "What are you going to do?" but this time I'm the one who asks me this question most often. I think about it for a while, get psyched over some whim of an idea, then give up on it and answer, "I don't know." Perhaps it's that "quarter life crisis" I heard about on Oprah or something, but I'm surrounded by hundreds of other people (i.e., other English teachers) chasing after the same dream job that opens the door to a life of comfort, happiness, and success. Despite the revelation that I'm not crazy or going through a "quarter life crisis," I still have this restlessness tossing around inside of me. What am I going to do?

I've prayed and asked God and have gotten promises of, 

"Yes, indeed, I have a plan for you." 

I reply, "Okay, what is it?" 

He says, "Just seek my face." 

"That's not a plan."

"Haha."

I'm so human, but I'm approaching an epiphany in which perhaps, "Just seek my face," is the place where I'll find that next step toward where I'm supposed to go. I don't have to have my whole life figured out before I take the next step. I'll just seek his face. That's what I'm going to do.