04 May 2010


What a strange day. It started out just normal and dandy, but when I got to my last class, I started to get short of breath. My left ear rang softly, and my heart rate increased. What is going on? I thought. Hardly able to concentrate on the lecture, I left the room for a few moments to walk around and wet my hands with cold water. Maybe this will help. I returned to class. Everything was semi-normal again, but a couple minutes later, my breathing became even more rapid. I tried to stay calm, but internal panic said What if I pass out and they have to call an ambulance? How embarrassing.

After calling and praying with madre and talking to my "boss," I managed to drive home from campus with no problems. I was still a little dizzy and having difficulty breathing, but I made it. I got home, fell asleep, woke up an hour later and felt much better. I walked around a bit, ate something, started some homework, but things were still a little off. Physically I was a little better, but spiritually and emotionally something deeper was running.

When I started to think of all the things I needed to get done before the end of the semester - study, papers, presentations, projects, cleaning, packing, moving, talking, working, running - I panicked again. I didn't realize how much I had allowed fear and anxiety to rule over my mind. How ugly! It was awful. I called madre again. We prayed and God wiped it all away. He set me free, and I was able to breathe again - physically, emotionally, spiritually, all of the above.

I was not made to carry a huge load and get it all taken care of on my own. I was made to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord. That's it. His yoke is easy, and his burden is light. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.

1 comment:

Courtney said...

I totally know that feeling from years past. It's absolutely awful. And that verse has been one of my favorites since that point. I love you and you can do it! The end is in sight! If you ever want a break, call me :)