After calling and praying with madre and talking to my "boss," I managed to drive home from campus with no problems. I was still a little dizzy and having difficulty breathing, but I made it. I got home, fell asleep, woke up an hour later and felt much better. I walked around a bit, ate something, started some homework, but things were still a little off. Physically I was a little better, but spiritually and emotionally something deeper was running.
When I started to think of all the things I needed to get done before the end of the semester - study, papers, presentations, projects, cleaning, packing, moving, talking, working, running - I panicked again. I didn't realize how much I had allowed fear and anxiety to rule over my mind. How ugly! It was awful. I called madre again. We prayed and God wiped it all away. He set me free, and I was able to breathe again - physically, emotionally, spiritually, all of the above.
I was not made to carry a huge load and get it all taken care of on my own. I was made to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord. That's it. His yoke is easy, and his burden is light. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.
1 comment:
I totally know that feeling from years past. It's absolutely awful. And that verse has been one of my favorites since that point. I love you and you can do it! The end is in sight! If you ever want a break, call me :)
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