27 May 2010

bugs, contd.

If you read my post from yesterday, I was kind of complaining about other people complaining about bugs and how scary they are. Ha, isn't it funny how the problems we point out in others are exactly the kinds of problems we struggle with, too?

{Does that make sense?}

Well last night only about an hour after posting that post about other people being scared of bugs, I walked into my closet and boom, staring me right in the face was a big nasty spider! The black round body with its long spiny legs was so stark against my closet's light blue walls. I just about screamed when I remembered that everyone else in my house was asleep.

How ironic, I thought, I was just thinking and writing about how silly it is to be afraid of little tiny bugs that are thousands, MILLIONS of times smaller than us!

I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to go upstairs and grab the nearest male to kill the enemy for me. No, that's just what my sister did earlier today... how cowardly. Another part of me wanted to just go to bed and forget about the spider. But that doesn't resolve anything. So I grabbed my black patent leather Franco Sarto kitten heel and...


Dead on the scene. That spider fell so fast I didn't even see him go down. I thought it had scurried off, but I indeed killed it. Then I got to thinking. Hmm, why was I so afraid of that spider anyway? The worst that could've happened would be that the spider would...

Sneak up my pants
Crawl into my mouth while sleeping
Lay eggs in my closet, turning it into a spider metropolis

Yeah, those would all be pretty bad. But in the end, that spider would be gone. The thing that was really freaking me out wasn't the spider; it was fear that come from thinking of all those possibilities. So what if I translated all my fears, anxieties, insecurities, shame, into that spider on my wall? Instead of thinking about all the possible outcomes of the spider laying eggs in my mouth or whatever {ew!}, I could just get right down to business and kill it!

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