15 July 2009

i'm back

It's been about a week since I've been back in the states. At first the adjustment was really rough. I was really depressed and frustrated, but little by little I peaked my head out of that hole of despair to find that the sun was shining. Eventually I crawled out of the hole, and it really didn't take as long as I thought. I've learned a lot over the last six months and now that I'm sort of in retrospect of my experience in Europe, I realize that the biggest things I learned were about myself. Here are a few of these things:
1. I like my alone time, mostly meaning I like my time between just God and I.
2. I like things that are different, things that no one else has thought about. I get kind of irritated when people try to copy me, but I'm learning to be more patient in this area.
3. I like boys.
4. I like art. I like Europe.
5. I can choose to leave in freedom or bondage.
6. I am independent.
7. I am capable of doing much more than I thought possible - Ephesians 3:20, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us".
8. I like joy a lot.

I heard millions of times from my professors in my intensive Spanish course that we learn through our errors. They told us constantly, "No tengáis vergüenza" (don't be embarrassed). We aren't going to learn if we don't make mistakes. This is so important to remember when learning a language. I suppose it is the same with life. My experience in Spain was not perfect. The buses usually weren't on time. I usually woke up later than I should have. I didn't speak as much Spanish as I could have. I made mistakes and compromised. If there's anything I remember at all, it was when my friend Nico said that there was one thing he noticed about me - I don't like to make mistakes. Way too true. He told me that I don't have to be perfect; life is full of errors, imperfection, mistakes. I don't have to be/do things perfect/ly. Now that I see that, I guess I've embraced it and strive more for excellence rather than getting distracted and upset that something doesn't go the way I think it should.

Anyway, change of subject now.. last night I was thinking about the rest of the summer and next semester (hopefully, maybe my last as an undergrad), and these verses popped out at me - 2 Corinthians 10:3-6, "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete."
I guess it all works together - excellence, grace, obedience, knowledge. I'm not sure what's all in store for these upcoming months, but I know they are full of big, good, good things.

1 comment:

Patty Roeder said...

Good stuff...this is so true...we want the things we can't have...like perfection. Who knew!?! Why do we do that to ourselves anyway?