11 May 2009
something i don't like about myself
I try to be perfect, but I am not perfect. My imperfection and attempt to be perfect result in hypocrisy a lot of times. I really despise that. I don't like to make mistakes, I don't like to be the guilty one, and I hate being deceived. So many times I think that beauty (inner and outer) means perfection. If something isn't perfect, it is ugly. But the more I live, the more I realize that the beauty in life is the imperfect stuff and how God works it all together for the good. If something here on this earth was completely perfect, wouldn't it seem like something was wrong with it? Maybe that's just me. But I do know this: only God is perfect. I was created perfectly in his image; although sin disrupts that perfection, it is only momentarily. The beauty among all this imperfection lies in grace. I see it now as more of a process, a series of actions, rather than a thing or a state. Ephesians 2. The beautiful thing is that although I don't deserve it, the Lord reaches out and defends me. He comes to my rescue; he brings me out of the pit. He scoops down to his knees to my eye-level in the mud. Though I will never be perfect on this earth, there is beauty in grace. This is my hope. I no longer have to strive to be perfect because the One who has redeemed me is already perfect; it's finished. I don't have to strive for it or be condemned by my imperfection. He is making me and molding me, and that is beautiful.